Elon Musk and Trump are no longer sleeping together. Somebody had to tell you the truth. And, the boys in the National Guard are invading southern California, because they can. Enjoy. New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you ...

The grocery store seems like an innocent place, but you won't believe what they're trying to sell me now. And, it's time for our first installment of john's financial hour, which lasts about 6 minutes, and might lead to an arrest. Enjoy....

I was told to resist drugs and violence growing up, but one of those things is a hell of a lot of fun. The only thing I can afford to eat, evidently, has arsenic in it, and will kill me soon. And, if Saudi Arabia wants to bribe our president, t...

I will be voting for a gang member next presidential election. I can no longer afford to eat. And, hate always wins. Enjoy.New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-...

I need the new American pope to install a McDonald's at the Vatican and lift the curse put on me by a 93 year old man!! If you didn't see your mom for Mother's Day -- you're probably out of the will. And, you shouldn't blame a kid for wanting t...

It's 2025, and there are no more deals to be had. Bill Belichick has moved to North Carolina to enjoy getting sucked off in retirement. And, migrants are being paid $1000 to leave the USA. Enjoy.New episodes are released every Tuesday. I...

Jessica built a rocket and prepares to go to space live on the show to honor astronaut Katy Perry. I saw a homeless man in a dress, which left me wondering, where the hell is the love? And, chicken is fighting back and giving us cancer. Enjoy.<...

Occasionally I'll say something that gives off the impression that I'm an expert, but in reality I don't have any idea what I'm talking about. My phone algorithm knows I'm going broke before I do. And, I bought a family size box of Nutri-Grain ...

Getting high in the backseat of your car can solve a lot of your problems. Also, evidently, they used to rent mules, which sounds like a bad business model. And, Jessica brought me Arby's to celebrate episode #200. Enjoy.New episodes are...

If your house didn't flood this week, then your 401k is probably down 40%. I saw a six-year-old who looked about 65 years old. And, I don't want to get sentimental. Enjoy.New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact w...

I've noticed nobody ever offers to share their crack cocaine with me. My local Honda dealership is 100% employee-owned, and I don't like that. And, Florida is taking steps to put children back to work! They'll be roofing in 100° weather this su...

Buying a Cuisinart 12 piece stainless steel cook set dooms you to a life of being middle class. Astronauts are poor. And, is pimping actually easy? Enjoy.New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we ...

I reminisce about the days when I had illegal satellite. I believe I may have discovered a way to prevent many mass shootings. And, there's one breed of dog I have a big problem with. Enjoy.New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you...

I might go to Mexico and risk it all. I'm not paying my taxes. And, Jessica shows off her "coastal grandmother aesthetic" in studio. Enjoy.New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice ma...

You shouldn't negotiate without a spread of food. Spring in right around the corner. And, I rented a car that didn't have the stamina I do. Enjoy.New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a v...

I was denied a courtesy wave by a man in a t-shirt. Jessica's convinced I have a sad life. And, I destroyed my friend's trash can. Enjoy.New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mail...

There's a chance I'll be dead by morning. My neighbor hired people to remodel her home, and they're using bone saws at 3am. I saw a man forget about 9/11. I'm addicted to rice crispy treats now. I got a Taylor Swift coloring book. And, I saw so...

The Gaza Strip is suddenly the place to be. Jessica quizes me to see how pathetic my life actually is. And, I will be having a rush hour funeral precession for maximum inconvenience. Enjoy.New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you ...

You're going to want to upgrade to first class so you don't die in the cheap seats. Also, if you're my friend and you're older than me, when you go to the nursing home I ain't visiting your ass. And, Jessica says she went back to the movies for...

Not everybody can go places. Instead of installing a security system at my place I'll just be directing burglars to vulnerable neighbors homes instead. And, Jessica debuts her new "at the movies" segment. Enjoy.New episodes are released...

Cold arctic air has migrated from Canada, and I'm blaming the president. Also, it's MLK Day, Paula Deen as a DJ, and kids are stealing our jobs. Enjoy. New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a vo...

People are f'ing around with me and finding out. I could have been killed over cookies. And, I'm only listening to GloRilla in 2025. Enjoy.New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice m...

Jessica has a surprise to start the new year. All my friends are buying the exact same Honda Civic that I have. And, evidently there's a potato cartel, and it's causing big problems. Enjoy.New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you...

Remembering Jimmy Carter, a man I've talked about a lot here on the show. Thanks for a great 2024. Enjoy.New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leav...

It's time for the 1st annual lighting of the tree! Also, don't be afraid to inconvenience your loved ones and ask for late minute gifts. And, Mrs. Claus started an OnlyFans. Enjoy.New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to ...